In an apparent attempt to flash knowledge he gained while attending John Rocker's sensitivity training course, Jonathan Papelbon compared former teammate Manny Ramirez to cancer. Now, comparing anyone to cancer seems like generally a bad idea. However, given the fact that Red Sox superstar in the making Jon Lester actually had cancer 2 years ago, this should make for some high quality discomfort in the clubhouse.
Granted, Papelbon is a closer, and it's well known that if there's a position on a baseball team that Tarzan could handle, it's the closer. Tarzan throw ball fast. Tarzan throw ball fast again. Team tell Tarzan game is over. Tarzan scream and drink Coors Light. The most difficult decision facing a closer is what AC/DC classic he would like pumping through the stadium as he struts out to the hill.
Papelbon gracefully described having Ramirez as a teammate. “It's like cancer. That’s what he was. Cancer. He had to go. We got Jason Bay—Johnny Ballgame, plays the game right, plays through broken knees, runs out every ground ball—and it was like a breath of fresh air, man! Awesome! No question.”
Broken knees huh?! Somehow, I'm doubting that's entirely accurate. As for that faint screaming you hear in the distance, that's Jason Bay expressing his displeasure towards being unwillingly dragged into this without notice.
Papelbon went further in his description of Ramirez, saying “He was on a different train! And you saw what happened with that. We got rid of him, and we moved on without him.” Yeah Paps, we did see what happened with that...the Rays won the American League Pennant, and you got an early start on your winter vacation. As for being on a different train, Papelbon seems to be himself on the fast track towards 2009 public apology #1.
Far be it for anyone to defend the endlessly controversial Manny Ramirez, but it's more about the words than the sentiment in this instance. Which, I guess, makes it more about the fact that Papelbon is a complete idiot, than whether or not Manny Ramirez qualifies as a terminal disease.
Major League Baseball...giving hillbilly athletes the opportunity to speak their minds since 1876.
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